i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
