I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
