You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
