big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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