Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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