is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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