i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
