somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
