its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
