$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize