420 ftw
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
