I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
