yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
