Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i came on her dog
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize