Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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