he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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