its not stalking. its research.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
