Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
