the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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