He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
