He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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