oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
