How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
