I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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