Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
