thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
