Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
