Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
