So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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