I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
