TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
