Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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