I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
