Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
