Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
