I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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