pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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