I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
