I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
