i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
