I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
