there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
