I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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