Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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