Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
smell my finger.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
