Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
