I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
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