TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
