i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
