dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
